During 17 years of learning about communication from different capacities, from High School and Academic studies to jobs like Communication Specialist and Team Leader, I have been reading, observing, analyzing, implementing, testing and exploring specificity and depth of verbal and non verbal, intercultural, conscious and subconscious, low vibe and high vibe communication patterns. I have been exploring communication styles in areas like negotiation, sales, business, spirituality or well being. From inner to external dialogue.
There is one thing that keeps surprising me over and over again (you can attach it to my conscious choice to be “naive”). The fact that the human race, that has developed this amazing and unique on planet Earth communication tool - language, is not educating baby humans from earliest age about healthy communication. Au contraire, from earliest age, it seems like verbal communication is focused on creating boundaries, rules and limitations and non verbal is used with no focus at all. Meaning that it is used completely unaware of its impact.
So, while nature is full of examples of effective encouraging and empowering communication, we, the humanoids, live our lives within Mother Nature and yet, we start thinking consciously about communication when we face the roadblock. Ok, ok, I will leave this for a separate blog post, just wanted to make a point. Back to the core issue here:
So, this road blocks usually feel, look and sound like “I am so lonely, nobody understands me”, “I keep talking and repeating and he/she does not care”, “I can’t say anything about…”, “We have no communication at all”, “Communication is broken”, “It is not possible to communicate with him/her”, “I do not understand what you want”, “When he/she speaks, I listen and get to say nothing”, “My opinion does not matter”, “I hate being pulled into drama”, “I never get what I want and ask”, “I want to avoid conflict at all cause so better not to speak up about the topic”, “He/she said that if I say someone about what happened, it will have consequences”....And so on and on…
What we see here is that we have societies of people that are not trained to communicate effectively, but that also do not use their innate powers and abilities.
And, this innate power is exactly what I want to urge you to tap into, leverage and use as a primary tool of communication. Especially in times when you are facing roadblock. One of the most frequently asked questions I get is how to deal with people that are superior in some way - in company hierarchy, in academic environments, in business environments (dedicated mentors, investors, experts), as authorities in their area of expertise, more influential business partners or similar.
I know that things can get tricky when you feel that your position is not allowing you to speak up the way you would like to, to say or ask for what you want, to put boundaries and even protect yourself from intrusion and overwhelm. And, the real danger behind every roadblock mentioned above is feeling that someone is not treating you fair and right. You feel and know that you deserve better. But, you are stuck.
Yes, you can just simply use google and you will find a ton of techniques for bridging the communication gap. But, what you need to dig deeper to find is this - when nothing works - what do you do?
Are you ready?
You DO nothing.
You BE in your power and the wanted outcome will COME.
You see, as a Female Leader, you are supposed to be in your highest Feminine Power when you want something (and you already did this and that and every effort to find common ground or to communicate is doomed to fail). This means that you, as a woman, naturally are a powerful magnet for receiving, for nurturing, for creating, innovating, visioning, and therefore you naturally already have in your possession enough resources to attract desired outcomes. When you sit in your feminine leadership power, you are mysterious and seductive and this is the energy that will allow you to materialize that paycheck raise, new projects, new executive roles, flexible working hours, investment in your idea, business or brand, personal expansion… This is how I received multiple times all of the above.
The trick with energy, of course, is to balance masculine and feminine. If you are not on a spiritual awakening path, you might have no idea what am I talking about or you might think of this as a woo woo. But, the fact you cannot deny is that you are hustling and hitting the wall from time to time, you have miscommunication with your superiors, your team members even or clients, probably in your personal life as well, you are feeling underappreciated, not paid enough, not recognized, not heard, overstepped. What you need to understand (if you want to get out of that vortex) is that you are most of the time in a masculine energy that is action, work, demanding, claiming, working mode.
But, to radiate full self confidence as a woman, I invite you to open yourself up for receiving. If order to be appreciated by others - you need to radiate self esteem, in order to be proud on yourself as a career and family woman - you need to truly feel that balance, in order to be financially rewarded for what you do in your masculine energy - you need to feel that you are fully worth of it and opened to receive in your feminine energy.
Why is this especially important when you are in communication with those who might have no capacity, ability or simply willingness to treat you as you deserve? Because, this is the language their energetic field will understand. This is the law of existence, as I see it. So, when nothing works, go back to basics:
1. SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP
Everything that you do, the way you walk, talk or think. Slow down, release the pressure and lower the intensity. The way you drive, do grocery shopping, eat, clean the house, wash the dishes, shower, type your emails. Slow down and emotions will lower their intensity. Feelings of not being appreciated, stress about upcoming meetings or conversation, feeling of anger, every emotion, since it is energy in motion will slow down.
When your emotions slow down, your physical and energetic body will speed up the recovery. Recovery from intensity and with recovery, you will feel your natural power increasing.
Also, with slowing down and paying attention, instead of running around, the universe will feel you are opening space for receiving what you want. So, now it can be arranged for you to materialize it.
2. AWAKEN YOUR SEDUCTIVE, MYSTERIOUS AND MAGNETIC SELF
Once you slowed down and created the space for new, play with it. Play with your femininity. Movement is important for your womb, dance, awaken your sensuality with aromas, scents, baths, feel the feminine in you. Meditate, walk with Mother Nature, laugh loudly. Whatever your thing is, red lipstick, high heels, being naked, do it, daily. It does not matter if it is five minutes, half an hour, the whole day long, create that time and space. For yourself. Feel that magnetic force in you.
You are an appreciated, powerful, vulnerable, sensitive, sensual woman that has a life that she wants. Play with it. This is how you create it.
3. COMMAND AND LEAN BACK
Now, when you are feeling like yourself again, when you know that you do not depend from no one, when you understand the concept that no one is above you or below you, when you feel that we are all one and equal… Now, you feel and know that there is no boss, investor, authority , woman or man that is going to affect you living the life you want, speaking up and demanding.
Now is the moment that you enter that room or pick up the phone and simply ask for what you want and then, you do nothing. Lean back and leave it to them and to the universe. The outcome will be the one that is the best for you. Just trust.
And this is how you communicate as a powerful leader.
You communicate from the place of your feminine power.
From the place of love, compassion and empathy.
Let them come to you.
Now go and groove the world!
Your Leadership Mentor,